Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
