You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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