i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
