i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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