i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
