i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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