We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
