I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
