I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
