guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
