Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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