I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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