dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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