physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize