i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
