woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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