yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
