too bad you live with your parents still
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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