When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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