She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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