i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize