My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
