Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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