She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
