So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
