I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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