I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
