you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
50% drunk capacity currently
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
