I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
