hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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