you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
