Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
