her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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