if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
