And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
