i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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