we have pet lesbian snakes
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
