that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
