it wasn't lemon gatorade
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
is wine microwaveable?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
