Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
