dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
