I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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