Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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