Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
