I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize