Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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