Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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