3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Apparently you make a good broom.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize