Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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