its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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