The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize