Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
