well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
