big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
