I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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