I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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