I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
