I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
