But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
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