Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
