i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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