i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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