we're blogging at a bar
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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