which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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