How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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