he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
