my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Found the puke drawer
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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