Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
