I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
