I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
