At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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