East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize