just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
