So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
