Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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