People in love make me want to vomit
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
