Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
